REPUBLIC OF TEXAS ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS *******************************************************
1300.01 GENERAL LAWS
Any person with a valid Texas hunting license may harvest attorneys.
Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of
currency as bait is prohibited.
Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally
struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine,
helicopter, or aircraft.
It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance",
or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes,
or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms,
law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony
to hunt, trap, or possess it.
Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection
for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.
It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter,
drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie,
or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.